The Onions and Cast of Characters

I talk about my onions and make odd personal references a lot. I'm sure most of you are like what the crap is she talking about? 

These are the onions...

As we get to know each other, little snippets of my life will make their way into the mix of recipes and food posts.

Some folks have aliases (like my kids) and some people have real nicknames that will make you scratch your head.

Here’s a glossary of the Cast of Characters in my life:

Husband: This one’s pretty obvious. Husband is Canadian and how he has managed my Southern behind all these years is baffling. If there’s one person whose sense of humor is more warped than mine, it’s Husband.

The Onions: My kids.

Brutus: My youngest child and only son. He’s currently 7 years old.

Angel Baby: My baby girl. She’s currently 8 years old.

Flossy: My big girl. Flossy came with Husband which was one of the best things he’s ever done for me. She’s currently 12 years old.

Ginga: My dad. This is the actual name my kids have given him. My whole life I heard my dad say, “When I become a grandparent I’m going to be called Granddad…. not PeePaw or PooPoo, or any bullsh!t like that. I want to be called Grand-Dad." Yeah, how’d that work out for you, Ginga?

Nana: Another obvious one. This is my mother and also referred to as She Who Must Be Obeyed. Nana’s a total badass and I want to be her when I grow up. She taught me how to cook, to laugh at myself and how to be a confident, empowered woman.

Mil: My mother-in-law. Who is amazeballs and nothing like the stereotypical mother-in-law. Mil and most of Husband’s family still live in Ontario, Canada. Also, I think she might be an angel. Like, a real one with retractable wings.

Ninja Barb [a.k.a. ‘My Ninja’]: Ninja Barb is my 70-something year old neighbor who fusses over us like a mother hen. I call her my Ninja because she could outrun any one of us in a footrace, she can find anything, she can fix anything and I’m pretty sure she’d be the first person I called if aliens invaded. And she does awesome stuff like leave bowls of fresh cut magnolia blossoms on my kitchen counter.

No-Bake DOUBLE Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies

A better recipe for classic peanut butter chocolate oatmeal cookies with DOUBLE the cocoa that comes out perfectly every time!

JUMP TO RECIPE

You know these cookies. Everyone's made them. If you're over 40, you were probably whipping out batches of them when you were 10.

These cookies will outlast any cookie trends or social media fads. They've been here forever and they'll be around forever because they're quick, they're easy and they're delicious!

All that being said, even when I was a little girl, I always thought the original recipe needed a little more oomph. Just a lee-little bit more flavor.

I always thought they would be so much better if they were just a little bit more chocolaty. My grammar check is telling me to replace ‘more chocolaty’ with ‘chocolatier’ but that totally sounds like a made-up word. And now my spell check says ‘chocolatier’ isn't a word. WTH, computer?

Anywho - also not a word, thankyouverymuch - when I started making these as an adult, I veered from the original recipe and added more cocoa. I doubled it, actually. And they are SO MUCH BETTER! Why, oh why, did we not figure this out when we were kids??

RECIPE VARIATIONS FOR NO-BAKE PEANUT BUTTER OATMEAL COOKIES:

I love these cookies so much I've made a few variations over the years:

No-Bake Monster Cookies - An easy no-bake peanut butter cookie recipe with quick-cooking oats topped with chocolate chips and M&Ms. 

Triple Chocolate No-Bake Cookies - Classic no-bake peanut butter oatmeal cookies made with DOUBLE the cocoa and studded with chocolate chips for three times the chocolate goodness! 

No-Bake Peanut Butter Oatmeal Cookies - A tried-and-true recipe for no-bake cookies made with peanut butter and oats topped with an easy cocoa drizzle icing.

NOTES ABOUT MAKING NO-BAKE PEANUT BUTTER OATMEAL COOKIES:

• Only use real butter. Margarine will not work in this recipe.
• If using unsalted butter, add a pinch of salt when heating the milk mixture. 
• No-bake cookies can be persnickety. If you don’t boil the mixture long enough, they won’t set up. If you boil it too long, they will be crumbly. The recipe below is exactly how I make all my no-bake cookies. Follow it and you should be A-OK.
• Every now and again my “dough” will be a little on the thick side. I assume this is about some variance in the oats but you know how cooking sweets can be. IF your dough seems a little firm, heat 2 tablespoons of milk and 1 tablespoon of peanut butter in the pan you just used until the peanut butter melts (no need to clean it first and you need to work quickly anyway). Pour the hot mixture into the dough then mix well. That should loosen everything up perfectly. 
• You can use old-fashioned rolled oats in this instead of the quick-cooking variety. I just prefer the texture of the quick-cook oats.
• If you don’t have parchment paper, a clean, dry counter will work as well but you may need a spatula to move the cookies. Aluminum foil can be used as well.

Recipe for No-Bake DOUBLE Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies

No-Bake DOUBLE Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies

Yield: 32-36 Cookies

Author: Mandy Rivers | South Your Mouth

Prep time: 10 MinCook time: 5 MinTotal time: 15 Min

A better recipe for classic peanut butter chocolate oatmeal cookies with DOUBLE the cocoa that come out perfectly every time!

Ingredients

Cookies

• 3 cups quick-cooking oats
• 1 stick REAL butter (1/2 cup)
• 2 cups sugar
• 1/2 cup cocoa powder
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1 cup peanut butter
• 1 teaspoon vanilla

Instructions

1. Line a work surface with parchment paper. Add the quick-cooking oats to a large mixing bowl then set aside.
2. Melt butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Stir in sugar, cocoa powder and milk then bring to a boil over medium heat, stirring frequently. Once the mixture starts to bubble, boil for 1 full minute. Remove from heat immediately. Do not let mixture boil longer than 1 minute.
3. Add peanut butter and vanilla to the saucepan then stir until peanut butter is melted. Pour mixture into the mixing bowl with oats then gently stir until well combined.
4. Using a cookie scoop or two tablespoons (I use a 1½ inch cookie scoop), scoop portions of dough onto parchment paper.
5. Allow cookies to completely cool and set-up then move to an air-tight container to store.

Notes

• Only use real butter. Margarine will not work in this recipe.
• If using unsalted butter, add a pinch of salt when heating the milk mixture. 
• No-bake cookies can be persnickety. If you don’t boil the mixture long enough, they won’t set up. If you boil it too long, they will be crumbly. The recipe below is exactly how I make all my no-bake cookies. Follow it and you should be A-OK.
• Every now and again my “dough” will be a little on the thick side. I assume this is about some variance in the oats but you know how cooking sweets can be. IF your dough seems a little firm, heat 2 tablespoons of milk and 1 tablespoon of peanut butter in the pan you just used until the peanut butter melts (no need to clean it first and you need to work quickly anyway). Pour the hot mixture into the dough then mix well. That should loosen everything up perfectly. 
• You can use old-fashioned rolled oats in this instead of the quick-cooking variety. I just prefer the texture of the quick-cook oats.
• If you don’t have parchment paper, a clean, dry counter will work as well but you may need a spatula to move the cookies. Aluminum foil can be used as well.

https://www.southyourmouth.com/2011/11/no-bake-chocolate-oatmeal-cookies.html

Images © South Your Mouth LLC 2023

peanut butter, cocoa powder, oatmeal, oats, cookies, nobake, no bake, gluten free, easy, best, chocolate, cocoa

dessert, cookies

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Cooking Quiz: Test Your Kitchen Know-How

You may be a whiz in the kitchen, but just how well-versed are you when it comes to the culinary arts? Test your culinary prowess with this totally made up and possibly offensive quiz. 

Define the cooking term ‘Sweating’

1. To cook food in its own juices with a small amount of fat over low heat, just until softened
2. That thing you do between your boobs when you have to chase down your kids at the park

A convection oven is…

1. An oven that uses a fan to circulate heat throughout the oven
2. An oven used to kill convicts

When it comes to pasta…

1. Flat, longer pasta should be used with cream sauces and sturdier shapes go best with tomato sauces
2. Cook it like that guy Al Dante says

What should you look for when buying mussels?

1. Ones with tightly closed shells or shells that close when you tap them
2. Merchants who can be discrete with credit card transaction descriptions

Which type of wood should you use for smoking foods on an outdoor grill?

1. Fruitwoods and hardwoods
2. Dude, you can smoke wood?

Define the cooking term ‘Spatchcock’

1. A way of flattening a whole chicken by cutting out the spine before cooking
2. A special apron used to keep splatters off your wiener

Thousand Island dressing is best known for…

1. Coming from the Thousand Island region in upstate New York
2. Only ever being used before Ranch dressing was invented

Pesto sauce can best be described as…

1. A basic sauce that consists of basil, parmesan, olive oil, salt and pine nuts
2. Bong sludge

What is a mycophile?

1. Someone who hunts edible wild mushrooms
2. Um. What?

What is the hand test?

1. A test is used to estimate the temperature of charcoal when grilling
2. A test used to determine if your husband is ready to lay down the lovin’

How'd you do?

If you answered mostly 1’s then you are a cooking genius and need to quit your job to pursue a culinary degree.  In France.

If you answered some 1’s and some 2’s then you’re really just very average and shouldn’t quit your day job. Or tell jokes in public.

If you answered mostly 2’s then you are a moron.  And probably high.

More Funnies...
Because Great Things Can Happen When You're Naked

Cooking Quiz

Me plus Juice Newton equals Tammy Faye
Husband & the Colonoscopy

Nailed It

Off-Sides

Picture Day
Ted and His Magazine Can Suck It
Ten Things Nobody Tells You to Expect About Becoming a Mom

Tips for Hosting the Perfect Thanksgiving. Or Not.

Top 10 Things You Need to Accept About Christmas

Trouser Socks, Demon Beasts & Morning Perspective

Warning: I'm (prolly) Not Listening

Wine Snob

Naked Chicken Tenders

Pan-fried chicken tenders with NO BREADING with twice the flavor and half the work of traditional fried chicken tenders seasoned with a rotisserie style spice blend recipe called 'Chicken Scratch' - recipe included!

I use my chicken seasoning (Chicken Scratch) each and every time I cook chicken.

Whether I’m baking it, grilling it, frying it, sautéing it or putting it in ice cream, it gets a good coating of the seasoning.

My very favorite way to use it is to coat chicken tenderloins and pan-fry them without breading… kind of like a naked chicken tender. Once cooked, you can use the tenderloins in so many dishes.

My very favorite way to serve these is in a Big Fat Salad (thankyouverymuch, Seinfeld) but they're also great with fettuccine alfredo or on their own with bleu cheese or ranch dressing for a dipping sauce.

Here are my two favorite salads to serve these with:

Apple Pecan Chicken Salad

• Romaine lettuce
• Diced tart apples
• Roasted pecans
• Red Onions
• Dried Cranberries
• Bleu Cheese
• Naked Chicken Tenders
• Bleu Cheese Dressing

Our Big Fat Salad

• Romaine lettuce
• Grape tomatoes
• Cucumbers
• Boiled eggs
• Cheddar cheese
• Homemade Croutons
• Naked Chicken Tenders
• Ranch or Honey Mustard Dressing

This is an awesome recipe for anyone following a low carb or keto diet because you get all the yumminess of chicken tenders without the breading!

Naked Chicken Tenders

Yield: 3-4 Servings

Author: Mandy Rivers | South Your Mouth

prep time: 10 Mcook time: 8 Mtotal time: 18 M

Pan-fried chicken tenders with NO BREADING with twice the flavor and half the work of traditional fried chicken tenders seasoned with a rotisserie style spice blend recipe called 'Chicken Scratch' - recipe included!

ingredients:

Chicken Tenders

• 1-2 tablespoons Chicken Scratch (recipe below)
• 1 pound chicken breast tenderloins
• 3-4 tablespoons vegetable oil

Chicken Scratch

• 3 tablespoons salt
• 3 tablespoons paprika
• 3 tablespoons garlic powder
• 1 tablespoon dried thyme
• 1 tablespoon white pepper
• 1 tablespoon black pepper
• 1 tablespoon cayenne pepper
• 1 tablespoon onion powder

instructions:

How to cook Naked Chicken Tenders

Chicken Tenders

1. Using kitchen shears, cut the white tendon from each tenderloin. Or don’t. I just do it because they skeeve me out. Season tenderloins with Chicken Scratch.
2. Heat vegetable oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Use enough oil so that the bottom of the skillet is thoroughly covered. Once your oil is good and hot, place about half the tenderloins in the skillet. Do not overcrowd the pan. These cook quickly so you’re not going to miss Christmas if you have to cook two batches. Cook about 4 minutes or until lightly browned on each side then remove from heat.
3. Let chicken rest about 10 minutes before cutting. I mean it!

Chicken Scratch

1. Mix all ingredients together and store in an airtight container. I keep mine in a large used spice container that still has its shaker top for easy use. Season chicken or other poultry LIBERALLY with mix (this is made with less than 25% salt so you can rock it out!)

naked, chicken, tenders, no breading, without breading, low carb, keto, gluten free, fried, grilled, easy, recipe, best

Created using The Recipes Generator

Here's another recipe I LOVE to use the Chicken Scratch seasoning on!

Oven Barbequed Chicken

This recipe was featured at the Weekend Potluck!

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This is Not a Post. This is an Epic Fail.

I think I have to go cut myself now.  Or like shove tiny bamboo shivs under my fingernails for 16 days.

Ugh.

This is so bad.

I can’t even type the words.

OK.

Here goes…

Many months ago I shared an email exchange with The Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond.  I know, right?! I emailed her to ask a question AND THEN SHE ANSWERED and we emailed back and forth a few times.  The end result was that she asked me for my Peach Cobbler recipe.

I KNOW, RIGHT?!

I sent it to her and never heard back.  I figured it was because my recipe was so overwhelmingly amazeballs that she was temporarily blinded by its awesomeness and by the time she’d regained her bearings, Marlboro Man needed something so she got distracted.

Until.

Until about five minutes ago.

Until about five minutes ago when I opened the document I sent her and saw that I had not sent my final recipe.  What I sent her was The Big Hot Mess of a draft wherein I was (unsuccessfully) trying to convert the base ingredients from a chocolate and black cherry cobbler into a peach one.

Half way through The Big Hot Mess I just gave up and it’s just this random list with repeated ingredients and instructions that don’t make sense.  And chocolate with peaches.  Oh. Em. Gee.

I sent The Pioneer Woman The Big Hot Mess.

It’s like I sent Jesus the outtakes from The Exorcist.

Tips to Hosting the Perfect Thanksgiving. Or Not.

So, I’m strolling through the internet looking for some information on a Thanksgiving recipe idea I had and came across this darling little gem.

A website (which will remain nameless) had a whole article on how to host the perfect Thanksgiving meal.  After I read the first few tips I was peeing in my pants laughing.  Then I got this visual that whoever made this list surely irons her panties every day. How precious. 

Top 10 Tips to Hosting the Perfect Thanksgiving Holiday Event

plus my 2 cents... because you know I can't help it  

1. Relax. It is very necessary for the host or hostess to be relaxed and in the mood of having fun, for all the guests to enjoy the party.

Me:  You’re freaking everybody out with your need to recreate that Food Network Thanksgiving special. It ain’t gonna happen so just go put your fat pants on and have a glass of wine.

2. Use good quality tablecloths and big, heavy and soft fabric napkins to make a good impression on your guests.

Me:  Use disposable everything, ESPECIALLY the tablecloths so that you can just wrap it all up like a huge bag, throw it over your shoulder Santa style and walk it out to the garbage can.

3. Mix and match silverware, dinnerware and glasses. Position them nicely, for a balanced look and make your table look festive and colorful.

Me:  Mix and match silverware, dinnerware and glasses because normal people don’t have that much sh!t that matches. And because silly you didn't register for a service for 26 when you got married. Either time.

4. Mix family members and guests or children and adults while seating everybody on the table, so that no one feels alienated.

Me:  ALL CHILDREN MUST SIT IN A SEPARATE ROOM. Period. And if somebody gets snarky they’re sitting at the kids’ table too.

5. At each table place setting, keep cards with the name of the person on the plate, to avoid any confusion.

Me:  Or what? Is it really that important that they sit where you want them to? This isn't your freaking wedding, Martha.

6. If you are serving wine to the adults, children will love to be served sparkling cider. Otherwise, they might feel left out.

Me:  Whuck? Feel left out of what? Getting tanked? No, the kids can steal beer and drink it in the garage like we had to when were little.

7. Keep a stack of clean dishtowels ready in the kitchen, where they would be easily accessible for any guests who might want to help.

Me:  Might want to help? Heifer, you better get your Butterball eating behind back here and get cleaning.

8. Turn the television off during Thanksgiving Dinner. It is meant for sharing love and blessings and being thankful for your family and friends, not to waste time watching the idiot box!

Me:  OK, I actually agree with this one.

9. While planning the menu, make sure that all things can be served easily on one dinner-size plate. Do not keep soup in the menu for buffet-style dinner.

Me:  You must not be from the South. We need a whole separate plate just for the side dishes. And who eats soup on Thanksgiving, anyway?

10. Try to coordinate things visually and taste-wise, while planning the menu. visual appeal is as much necessary as delicious taste.

Me:  I’m not really sure I know what that first bit means. Coordinate tall things with things that taste tall? Oh, now I totally get it.

See also Top 10 Things You Need to Accept About Christmas

Tuna Noodle Casserole

A classic tuna casserole recipe made with cream of mushroom soup, egg noodles topped with butter bread cubes.

Through a series of unrelated and bizarre (even for my brood) events, the supper plans I had last night were waylaid and I had to stressfully scram to pull dinner out of my ear with scant resources.

Doing a quick inventory in my head, I decided I had what was needed to throw a tuna casserole together.

When I took it out of the oven, I had to smile to myself because – lowly creature that she is – she sho was purty. I quickly grabbed my camera to snap a shot about the same time that Husband comes walking in and says the following:

Husband: What stinks?

Me: Shut your face you ungrateful... It’s a tuna casserole.

Husband: Blech.

Me: You like tuna casserole. 

Husband: I thought we were having spaghetti. I want spaghetti. Can’t you just grab a jar and…

Me [holding a 6-inch filet knife and suddenly on the verge of tears]: I'VE WORKED ALL DAY! I fed the kids breakfast, I got them dressed, I took them to school and somehow managed to get to work on time. Then I spent nine hours at a job where I'm unappreciated and underpaid. Then I picked everybody up from daycare, I took them to practice, I helped them through their homework and now I’m just trying to feed you people so I. Can. Do. It. All. Again. Tomorrow.

Husband: Um, why are you taking a picture of it?

Me: I’m not now.

Husband: Why are you holding the camera?

Me: Forget it.

Husband: Can I be in the picture?

Me: Wha???

And then I thought I was going to cry because the kids heard us laughing and wanted to get in on the fun so they wanted to have their picture taken with it too.

There are so many tuna casseroles out there with everything from cheese to peas mixed in but this is the one I grew up eating and I absolutely love it.

Our has diced boiled eggs in it. Maybe that's weird?? I dunno. All I know is I LOVE the boiled eggs in this casserole but you're more than welcome to leave them out.

And those buttered bread cubes on top?? Holy Moly, that's the best part!! I'd probably eat a bowl of boiled chicken feathers if it was topped with these bread cubes! 

Tuna Noodle Casserole

Yield: 6 Servings

Author: Mandy Rivers | South Your Mouth

Prep time: 5 MinCook time: 30 MinTotal time: 35 Min

A classic tuna casserole recipe made with cream of mushroom soup, egg noodles topped with butter bread cubes.

Ingredients

• 3 5-oz. cans of tuna, well drained
• 1 can cream of mushroom soup
• Pinch of salt
• 2 tablespoons milk
• 2-3 boiled eggs, chopped
• 4 cups cooked egg noodles
• Cooking spray
• 5 cups 1-inch bread cubes
• 3-4 tablespoons melted butter

Instructions

1. Add tuna, mushroom soup, salt and milk in a medium bowl and stir until combined.
2. Fold in boiled eggs and egg noodles.
3. Spray the inside of a medium casserole dish with cooking spray. Fold tuna mixture into casserole dish.
4. Toss bread cubes with melted butter. Top tuna mixture with bread cubes.
5. Bake at 350 degrees for 30-40 minutes or until bread cubes are golden brown.

Notes

Easily double this recipe and cook in a 13x9 casserole dish if desired.

https://www.southyourmouth.com/2011/11/pimping-on-budget-tuna-casserole.html

Images and text © South Your Mouth LLC

tuna, noodle, casserole, classic, retro, tuna fish, cream of mushroom, soup, egg noodles, buttered, bread cubes, boiled eggs, how to, best, recipe

dinner, supper

Did you make this recipe?

Tag @southyourmouth on instagram and hashtag it #southyourmouth

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Sheet Pan Cheeseburger Sliders

An easy sheet pan recipe for cheeseburger sliders made in the oven that cooks in one big batch and tastes just like White Castle burgers!

Though I’d love to spend $400 a week at the grocery store and get off work at noon every day so I could spend hours cooking a gourmet supper each night, that just ain’t how we roll.

From equal parts tight budget and tight schedule have emerged several dishes that we serve quite regularly on weeknights.

This is definitely one of them.

There are 237 things I love about this recipe but here are the Top 4:

1. They taste so much like White Castle burgers you'll be looking for Harold and Kumar when you eat them.
2. IT. IS. EASY. 
3. This is always a hit at parties. First of all, it makes 24 sliders which is perfect for a crowd. But also? It's really fun to put out a tray of these with a "burger bar" of every condiment known to man and let everyone dress theirs the way they want.
4. This recipe makes a monster batch which is awesome because you can eat half then totally freeze the leftovers in pairs, wrapped in freezer paper, and easily reheat in the microwave for little snackers.

If you're looking for more fun and hearty appetizers, try some of these recipes too!

• Party Shrimp – Super easy shrimp appetizer recipe with just a few ingredients that cooks up quick in the oven. 
• Buffalo Feathers – Grilled chicken tenders sauced like wings for all the fun and flavor of buffalo wings with half the work! 
• Monte Cristo Party Sliders – Party sandwiches made with ham, turkey and cheese baked in a rich buttery topping dusted with powdered sugar. 
• Chipotle Shrimp Tostada Bites – Mini tostadas with chipotle glazed shrimp and guacamole sprinkled with a confetti of red onion and cilantro! 
• Original Sausage Balls – The original recipe for sausage balls using Bisquick, cheddar cheese and sausage. 
• Ham & Swiss Party Pinwheels – A super easy appetizer recipe using puff pastry, ham and cheese that's perfect for entertaining.

Sheet Pan Cheeseburger Sliders

Yield: 24 Sliders

Author: Mandy Rivers | South Your Mouth

prep time: 5 Mcook time: 15 Mtotal time: 20 M

An easy sheet pan recipe for cheeseburger sliders made in the oven that cooks in one big batch and tastes just like White Castle burgers!

ingredients:

• 2 1/2 pounds lean ground beef
• 1 medium onion, finely diced
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 24 soft dinner rolls
• 12 slices American cheese

instructions:

How to cook Sheet Pan Cheeseburger Sliders

1. Dice onion and scatter evenly on an 18x13 baking sheet (or two standard-size cookie sheets).
2. Spread ground beef evenly on top of onions, pressing down firmly until the meat reaches the edges of the pan and is evenly distributed (a rolling pin works beautifully for this). Season with salt, pepper and garlic powder.
3. Bake at 400 degrees for 15-17 minutes. Remove from oven and immediately top with American cheese slices.
4. Using a serrated knife, slice rolls in half then broil (cut side up) in the oven until toasted.
5. Using a pizza cutter or sharp knife, cut burgers into 24 squares. Place one burger square into each roll and serve with traditional condiments. I like mine best with dill pickle slices, ketchup and mustard.

NOTES:

The measurement etched on the pan I use reads "18x13" though it physically measures larger. If you're shopping for a pan, look for a manufacturer's measurement of "18x13". Mine is made by Baker's Secret.
If your ground beef puts out a lot of liquid, remove the pan from the oven about half way through the cooking time and pour the liquid off to keep the meat from "boiling" in the pan. Keeping the pan dry will help the meat get a nice "seared" flavor.
You can easily cut this recipe in half. I usually don’t because I like to freeze the leftovers. Plus the rolls come in packs of 24 and that just seems like slider destiny.

burgers, cheeseburgers, cheese, sliders, white castle, krystal, appetizers, football, tailgating, game day, easy, recipe, big batch, sheetpan, sheet pan

Created using The Recipes Generator

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