Cooking Quiz: Test Your Kitchen Know-How

You may be a whiz in the kitchen, but just how well-versed are you when it comes to the culinary arts? Test your culinary prowess with this totally made up and possibly offensive quiz. 

Define the cooking term ‘Sweating’
  1. To cook food in its own juices with a small amount of fat over low heat, just until softened
  2. That thing you do between your boobs when you have to chase down your kids at the park
A convection oven is…
  1. An oven that uses a fan to circulate heat throughout the oven
  2. An oven used to kill convicts
When it comes to pasta…
  1. Flat, longer pasta should be used with cream sauces and sturdier shapes go best with tomato sauces
  2. Cook it like that guy Al Dante says
What should you look for when buying mussels?
  1. Ones with tightly closed shells or shells that close when you tap them
  2. Merchants who can be discrete with credit card transaction descriptions
Which type of wood should you use for smoking foods on an outdoor grill?
  1. Fruitwoods and hardwoods
  2. Dude, you can smoke wood?
Define the cooking term ‘Spatchcock’
  1. A way of flattening a whole chicken by cutting out the spine before cooking
  2. A special apron used to keep splatters off your wiener
Thousand Island dressing is best known for…
  1. Coming from the Thousand Island region in upstate New York
  2. Only ever being used before Ranch dressing was invented
Pesto sauce can best be described as…
  1. A basic sauce that consists of basil, parmesan, olive oil, salt and pine nuts
  2. Bong sludge
What is a mycophile?
  1. Someone who hunts edible wild mushrooms
  2. Um. What?
What is the hand test?
  1. A test is used to estimate the temperature of charcoal when grilling
  2. A test used to determine if your husband is ready to lay down the lovin’

How'd you do?
If you answered mostly 1’s then you are a cooking genius and need to quit your job to pursue a culinary degree.  In France.

If you answered some 1’s and some 2’s then you’re really just very average and shouldn’t quit your day job. Or tell jokes in public.

If you answered mostly 2’s then you are a moron.  And probably high.


  1. RoFL!!!!!! love it (Cher on fb)

  2. I already have my culinary degree, but I'd LOVE to go study in France for a while. :)

  3. I have to get one of those aprons for my hubby. Wish I could quit laughing...

  4. Choose the right exhaust fan for your kitchen. Exhaust fans are necessary to dispel the heat, fumes and grease that result from cooking. Best Window Fan


Hi there! While I’m not able to respond to every comment, I try hard to answer any questions that haven’t been addressed in the post, recipe or in other comments.

I can tell you now 1) I have no idea if you can substitute Minute Rice or brown rice in my recipes because I’ve never used them and 2) If I know how to convert a recipe to a Crock Pot version, I will make a note about it (otherwise, I don’t know).

And though I may not respond to them all, I do read each and every comment and I LOVE to hear from you guys! Thanks, y’all! - Mandy