April 25, 2012

Picture Day

I’m going to hell with gasoline draws on for this one.  But I can’t help it.  About a year ago I was standing outside of Angel Baby’s first grade classroom waiting on the teacher to come and get me for a parent/teacher conference.  I looked across the hall to find the most amazeballs collection of children’s art in the history of ever.

The children had been asked to draw a picture of how they felt on picture day.  I’m sure there was some remarkable literary reference and more project details but all that’s a blur because these images were gagging me with awesomeness.

And because I rank humor right up there with oxygen, I slipped out my phone and took pictures of them.  I was weeding through some old files and found these.  And experienced the magic all over again.

So I see, Jacob.  So I see.

That's OK.  I'm more concerned with the jaundice.

Let's just hope this is the only picture that ever gets taken of your "O" face.

Dude, seriously?  A black eye AND chicken pox?  You deserve a do-over.

Wait.  Is this one of my onions?

Um. Well. That does suck. And it's kinda gross. Plus I think you have herpes.

That's OK.  Your brother will get crabs one day.

I hate it when my mom mess my haur up.

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Cooking Quiz
Me plus Juice Newton equals Tammy Faye
Husband & the Colonoscopy
Nailed It
Picture Day
Ted and His Magazine Can Suck It
Ten Things Nobody Tells You to Expect About Becoming a Mom
Tips for Hosting the Perfect Thanksgiving. Or Not.
Top 10 Things You Need to Accept About Christmas
Trouser Socks, Demon Beasts & Morning Perspective
Warning: I'm (prolly) Not Listening
Wine Snob

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Stephanie said...

Oh girl, just the afternoon comical relief I needed - you ROCK!

Julie said...

Made my day, so flippin funny!!!

Fort Worth Mama said...

You are hilarious! I found your blog only about a week ago and I already think I love you. Keep up the good work.

joanna said...

Bahaha. Found you on Pinterest love snarky mom blogs makes me feel more normal in a sea of stepford wives that make me want to gag!

Karol said...

I am laid up in my sick bed with a nasty cold. And I have been laughing so hard, I have shook this bed. Yes, I have. You have cracked me smooth up. And I thank you.

Melissa Pennino said...

Oh my goodness! Just found your blog on Pinterest and I literally almost just peed my pants laughing so hard. Thank you!

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