November 7, 2011

Because Great Things Can Happen When You're Naked

I had a moment with Husband this morning and wanted to share it with you…

I’m standing in the bathroom getting ready for work.  Naked.  Well, not completely naked – I had on eye shadow.  Husband comes in to brush his teeth and we’re both going about our business. 

He mumbles something along the lines of, “God, I’m getting old. My hair is all salt and pepper…”  He said something after that but I stopped listening because something magical happened.

A disco ball dropped from the ceiling and my deodorant transformed into a rhinestone-studded microphone and I started throwing down the lyrics to Push It

Sa, Sa, Salt and Peppa’s here and we’re in effect

Want you to push it back

Coolin’ by day and at night – workin’ up a sweat

Now, I’m a big girl.  Naked, I look like a cross between Homer Simpson’s face and an Incan fertility goddess.  That’s right… let all that sink in.

Of course, by the second verse I’m throwing in some wicked dance moves.  I don’t know what it’s called but I was really working that one where you pump your elbows while staring back at your ass with your mouth looking like a fish in heat.

I glance at my poor Canadian, white bread husband and he’s staring at me like a stoned mouth-breather.  And he is mes. mer. ized.

Then reality kicks in, he comes to his senses and does what needed to happen. He starts smacking my ass in perfect rhythm to my mad vocals.

Yo, yo, yo, yo baby pop

Yeah, you, come and give me a kiss

Better make it fast or else I’m gonna get pissed

Can’t you hear the music pumping hard like I wish you would

Now push it

When the performance eventually came to an end we were laughing so hard we were doubled over and crying.

We both collapsed onto each other, breathless from laughter (and killer moves) and he said to me, “I’ll think about this a hundred times today.  I’ll think about this weeks from now. I’ll think about this ten years from now.  I’ll remember this when we’re old and can’t get around anymore.”

And I knew at that moment that I should have been an eighties singer-slash-dancer. Because I killed that sh!t.


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21 comments:

  1. Thanks for making me laugh and for putting that song in my head.

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  2. hahaha! LOVE dancing naked!
    It's good for the soul :-D

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  3. I love this so much! THANK YOU!

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  4. LOL, I came here looking for a mac and cheese recipe, but I got a great laugh, your last sentence is gold! :-)

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  5. Oh, dear Lord, help me to breathe.

    I needed inspiration for an appetizer, but perhaps I should just bring this routine to the party.

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  6. Now that is what I call real love ;-)

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  7. You lady are awesomesauce! Yep, much like Bacon gravy, killer!

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  8. Why have a I never read this before...???? Mandy-girl...you are hilarious! And props to the hubs for joining in!!!

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  9. Oh my gosh... I think that is the greatest story ever.... Its awesome you can have that much fun just being silly!!

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  10. You are the shizzz!!!!!! LOL, Love your food, love you!

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  11. Love love love it!

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  12. That is seriously one of the funniest things I've ever read! I know I'll be thinking about that for years to come! Thank you for sharing!

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  13. Good gosh, you are hilarious! So glad I stumbled onto your blog.

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  14. Can. Not. Breathe. I think I love you. You had me at "Random Crap" Anyone who names a section "random crap" is my hero. And then that awesome pic of shrimp and grits....and I've never even had shrimp and grits because it never sounded good. But now I have to make it, like right now. Anyways, I have typed this fighting a 20 month old girl twin off the keyboard like a ninja and I may need a nap now.

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  15. Wow! Now that's the stuff one doesn't see everyday! Great story!

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  16. The awesome here is incredible.

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